To my 1 year old daughter

Posted Leave a commentPosted in The others

I can’t believe how fast the year flew by and you are now a one year old. I know it is not easy for you when our attention is split since you got two older brothers. JB like you, requires our full attention most of the time and there are times where you get neglected a bit. I’m sorry for delaying your bedtime when I have to put your big brother to bed. I hope you get the extra bonding time with him since you are stuck with me putting him to bed. I do think you kind of enjoy our hooky pooky stories every night, don’t ask me why but your big brother seems to be interested in this racing story for the last little bit. I think you will grow up to be patient and caring just like your big brother. The love Mase has for JB is undeniable and so sweet to watch. I know it is hard for you when JB doesn’t share his toys like Mase do, but with time JB will play with you just like how he plays with Mase. Although JB does’t express his love at this moment, I know he loves you dearly. The little interactions you get together before he runs away due to your violent nature of claiming everything is sweet to witness. His kisses and the occasional willingness to share with you is very precious. We are watching your development closely since your brother has autism. I even […]

Warnings and countdown seems to work for us

Posted Leave a commentPosted in tips

This tip works pretty well for us most of the time. I give warnings so JB is aware I will be taking a toy away or we are about to transition into another activity.  I pair it with a countdown of 5 and time it so he is just done with whatever he is doing. If it is a puzzle, I let him finish the last piece then do the countdown. Most of the time this works like a charm but of course there are times where he refuses. We keep trying it and it has become a routine for us. Another tip is being consistence and actually following through on what you say. If you want to transition to let’s say bed, you want to follow through so your child understands it is time to go to bed. A child learns very quickly what they can get away with.  JB often resist going to bed but I repeat myself and tell him it’s time to go. I also give him the choice to take a few toys up with him after the warnings and countdown. For us, dragging him up is the worst possible scenario as he cries bloody hell. It’s as if he has an itch and it must be scratched otherwise he just can’t sleep. In order for the itch to go away he must willingly walk up himself.

5 Things not to say to autism parent

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 Your child must be a genius. It doesn’t matter if he/she is or not, the mom could care less for that. Her concerns is not of his extraordinarily skills but his ordinary day to day functions. Oh I heard x and x outgrew autism, you should do this and that. That’s great a child had their diagnosis removed but every child is different. I would like some of the struggles we face to decrease but his uniqueness is something I embrace and love. I don’t want that part to go away, it makes him who he is. It melts my heart to see him giggle out of nowhere and when he is not frustrated/sad he is the happiest boy alive. There is no need to suggest that I’m not doing enough. Be mindful with this one as it could be sensitive. I heard autism is caused by xyz. There is always many sides of the story of what causes what. The main point and the most important part now is how can I help him live his life to the fullest it can be. Dwelling on something I can’t change will not make anything better. You are so strong, if it was me I wouldn’t be able to handle. What is the point of making a comparison? It doesn’t make it easier for me knowing that you think you can’t handle. You are stronger than you think. No one wants to be in tough situations but when it you are faced […]

Random sadness breaks my heart

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Sleeping Issues, Struggles

Today JB was extremely sad and kept crying for over an hour. He didn’t fall or hurt himself but something must be bothering him. It so sad to watch him go into these sad spells. I wish there is more I can do to offer him some comfort. I can’t help but to think could it be the new camp? Is he telling me he doesn’t like it there? His camp councillor seems very nice and even held him for over an hour today because he fell asleep. Could it be the transition? We think it has to do with him transitioning to no nap. To be honest, I would love him to continue napping as it gives me time to prep for dinner and tidy up. Also this transition turns him to a grumpy monster who constantly cries and whines for anything. We will get pass this, it is likely just a phase. I’ll hang in there.  

Geneva Centre Summer Camp

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Sleeping Issues

Tomorrow wraps up week one at Geneva Centre. He is only doing two weeks there so we are almost at our half way mark. Communication has been very smooth and staff seems very nice. I like how they travel near and far to everywhere for him to get more experience. It has been tough this week with 3 days of no naps at home but today we got him to nap so it was a bit better. I wonder if it is the new environment or is he ready for dropping the nap? If he is ready, why is he so grumpy then? Or is this just the transition where he doesn’t want the nap but by 4:30pm he is just too exhausted.

From sad to the saddest person alive in a few seconds

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Sleeping Issues, Struggles

Unsure why this boy was so sad today. Perhaps it’s because he slept for only 5 mins and woke up ready to pounce at the world or could it be his new camp? His camp councillor said he had a great first day and everyone loves him there because he is the youngest and so cute. However, new environments terrifies me more than him. I hate changing his camps but the previous  one ended for the summer. I don’t get it, what kind of summer camp ends August 10? You have almost a full month before school starts. On the bright side its 10pm and he is already asleep. I recorded him today as I watched him for a long time go from sad to the saddest person alive. I’ve witness this before and find it so puzzling as I can’t seem to explain why he is so upset. I actually found him sobbing on his pillow silently. Something has to be bugging this beautiful child of mine for him to be sobbing. It kills me literally watching my precious child sob in silence. Are you in pain? Do you feel there are a million ants crawling up your body? How can mommy help you? The feeling of helplessness is such a deep pain that is indescribable. What I would do and give up just to take this away from you my love. I am fully aware that I am a worrisome mom and most of the time I overthink […]

As he grows stronger my struggle is harder

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Struggles

It’s bittersweet when your child grows and although I want my children to grow, I just want them to grow very slowly so I can enjoy it just a tad longer. Yesterday JB didn’t nap and I had to take him to pickup Mase. We were cutting it real close in time so I had to rush which was my mistake number one. Never rush your autistic child. He wanted something and I took a moment to try to let him find it, but he was frustrated and angry. We trekked on and when I took him out of the car seat he was past the point of no return and I immediately regret it. Mase summer camp was only 7 minutes away and I thought that is a short ride but boy was I wrong. He was even more angry and was not having it. Again I gave him a minute to calm down but a minute was not enough and I had to carry/wrestle him in since I was already late. The struggle was so real and as I’m reflecting on it now I realized I was frazzled. I wore a dress which is mistake number two. You can’t wrestle a strong child with a dress on holding 2 toy cars, keys and a wallet. Mistake number three, never hold a million loose items. He threw a toy car and as I picked up the toy while holding his hands to ensure he wouldn’t run away in the […]

New norm is waking up at 3 am one to twice a week

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Sleeping Issues, Struggles

When we first started being concern JB was waking up 1-4 times a night between the hours of 2-4 and staying up for 3-4 hours. So if he was up at 2am he will cry till 5ish 6am or if he was up at 3am he would cry till 6ish 7. We use to let him sleep in on bad nights and just do half day for daycare. After we took him out of that daycare he’s been much better. I think a lot of it is frustration, hunger and lack of sleep and by removing him from daycare we were able to concentrate on satisfying his needs. Anyways he has been doing so well that I forgot what it felt like doing the late night zombie hours. We are starting to notice a new routine, waking up 1-2 times a week at 3ish am and staying up. On the bright side he doesn’t cry for 3-4 hours anymore . he plays for a bit before getting hungry and frustrated. Yes he cries still but not endless crying for hours. Is it ideal to wake up at 3am and stay up? Hell no. Is it better than him waking up for 3-4 hours of screaming/crying bloody hell? YES YES YES. It’s easy to say yes when you are not the one waking up with him at 3am but I am certain I speak for the husband that he rather our son wakes up 1-2 times a week at 3 am […]