Month: February 2019

IPRC update: Consultant agrees to identify him as exceptional

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Struggles

I went into this meeting thinking what if they don’t think he needs diagnosis kindergarten and feel he is fine at regular class. As I was voicing my concerns to hubby, he says how on earth will they think he doesn’t need diagnosis kindergarten and I agreed. However, I put up my fight stance regardless in case I need to fight. I do think I was overthinking especially after the fact. The meeting went well and essentially the consultant is in the same page and agrees with us he needs the diagnostic class. This is what I wanted but at the same time the reality is starting to kick in. That my child will not be going to the regular kindergarten. Is it okay, sure, but it is also sad to me. I’ve been emotional all week because he’s been having a bad week with consistent sadness and crying. Something has to be up since he is refusing to eat. I initially thought I’m sad because he is sad but upon writing this it made me realized I’m sad because he can’t go to regular kindergarten. I really thought I’ve came to terms with his autism. It’s been over a year since the diagnosis and I haven’t bawled for almost a year. I’ve had sadness and tears roll down my eyes when the struggles get hard but full on sobbing, I thought I was done with that. Boy was I wrong. I think it didn’t help since I also filled […]

I wish I can understand why you are so sad

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Uncategorized

His frustration is to the roof today. Every morning is a crying battle. If I was to guess, I think he’s tired and lazy to come down but at the same time hungry. Don’t mess with this boy’s food, he will eat you alive. Sometimes he cries and makes the little one cry and in turn makes him cry harder. All this chaos in the morning can’t be good for the older one. Somehow we all manage to get out the door not too terribly late. I’ve noticed the little one starting to imitate J with his meltdown. Really of all things to learn you have to learn this one? This am was a real struggle and it sure didn’t help when the day started before the sun was out. He has these LEGO markers and his little hands just couldn’t hold them all. Every time one drops he gets so angry and frustrated. He would start stabbing himself with the markers and cry harder because it hurts. I can’t protect him from hurting himself all the time and when I don’t catch him it hurts me watching him cry. My beautiful child, only if mommy can help you become less frustrated. He can be laughing one moment then full on bawling the next. When I look deep into his eyes, his sadness really gets to you. How can a child this small have such sorrow and sadness? No dinner tonight again. He’s on some food strike. Literally the full […]

To the world’s best big brother

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Happy, The others

This one is dedicated to my oldest child, you never fail to amaze me and I’m left speechless. You are truly mature beyond your age and I’m the proudest mama alive. I never expected you to take care of your siblings the way you do. Today you took your Jay to use the potty all by yourself. It was so good you caught a success because those are the best and I’m super happy it made you feel so proud of yourself. You should be so proud of yourself because I am so proud of you. This was the first time ever you taken Jay to use the washroom and I never expected you to but you been keeping track of when his last pee was and thought to yourself it is about time he goes. Seriously how does a 6 year old keep track of his little brother’s toilet schedule? I know your brother’s autism affects you more than I can imagine and I’m worried about that all the time. You actually told your friend’s mom that you are so tired because Jay wakes you up at night. This was news to me as I always assumed you slept through it. I’m unsure if you said that because you wanted to sleep over at their house or maybe you do get waken up by his cries and screams. We had a talk and you are instructed to tell us every time you get waken up by Jay. I’ll now […]

The best PA day date ever

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Happy, The others

For those who read my letters to my oldest, you know how sweet my child is. Today was such a sweet day for me. He’s off on his PA day so we went to his parent interview early and had plans to do lunch and tobogganing. We were both so excited about it. He got to choose the food and before we left the house he turned to me and said mommy I’ll pay for lunch today. We recently opened a bank account for him and he got one of those debit Visa card. He’s been all about saving and not wanting to use his money so he can save. I thought it was amazing he wanted to offer but he really wanted to buy me lunch so I let him. My 6 year old child wants to buy me lunch. I chuckled but my heart literally melted to the floor. We got to the restaurant and he looked at the menu and decided what he wanted. He did change his mind a minute in but he made the decision all on his own. We had a great lunch and he said all the right things. He ended up paying and was so proud of himself. In reality, I was the proudest one. This boy will be one fine young man when he grows up. The person he finds to spend the rest of his life with will be the luckiest person alive. As we were wrapping up, Jay’s school […]

My struggles to pick up all three kids after school

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Struggles, The others

For the most part, we split the pickups/drop offs because it just gets too hard dealing with all three. When J is happy it is fine picking them up together and I’ve done it before. This week we had an ice storm and J’s school warned me they might close at noon. Wish they told me earlier because by time I dropped him it was 9:45am. The hubby asked why I didn’t tell them umm… we got work, how can we just drop everything and pickup. I agree with him but also see it from the worker’s point of view. I let it slide as it wasn’t a for sure thing. By time I settled into working, I get an email from daughter’s daycare saying they have to close at 4pm. I was like that’s just great. J had speech till 3:50pm and it will be cutting it real close for pickup at 4pm. I started arranging for hubby to leave work early but after a few minutes of arranging, I was like naw just going to tell daycare I can’t pickup by 4 and will be 5-10 mins after 4. Guess they had no choice but to agree. 3:50 rolled around and with traffic of course I’m late. Rushed to daughter’s daycare and felt terrible for making one girl stay behind. As I was dressing daughter, J runs off. I’m clearly frazzled as the daycare girl helps me hold J’s hand so he does’t wander off to the rooms. […]

Family Directed Respite (FDR) funding

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Resources and funding

All the information below can be found by going to respiteservices.com. Family Directed Respite (FDR) funding is a reimbursement program intended to assist families who are not currently connected to Ministry funded respite/camp programs, to develop and direct their own unique respite plans.   Family Directed Respite funding is administered by respiteservices.com on behalf of the Toronto Respite Network. Note: Applications will be posted  each year in mid-January and applications will be accepted until mid-February.  The 2019-2020 application will be posted on January 14th by noon! ELIGIBILITY: Child must be diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Child is eligible from the age of 2 until their 18th birthday. Child must reside with a caregiver and be a permanent resident of Toronto. Family required to have made an application to Special Services at Home (waitlist families are eligible). Families accessing Ministry funded respite/camp programs may not be eligible. If you have questions about the programs you are currently accessing please contact them directly to inquire about funding received. FDR eligible expenses:   FDR ineligible expenses: Camp fees to a limit of $750/week     Meal, busing, t-shirt, or other costs associated with program/camp Lessons or classes of any kind/ 1:1 support in the class Respite program fees to a limit of $150/day.   Sport/recreation fees Assistive devices or equipment   Daycare fees 1:1 staffing in home or community Staffing support (in a camp or respite program only) to a limit of $20/hour. Workers must be 18+ and live outside the  family home.   Activity Costs (e.g. field trip fees, memberships, etc.) Tutoring, therapy or therapeutic rec programs (e.g. ABA, IBI, SLP, OT, PT)   Transportation Administrative or registration fees Important information: • The 2019-2020 application will be […]

The Ministry of Children, Community and Social Services announces plan to clear Ontario Autism Program waitlists

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Resources and funding

What does that even mean? Frustrating when your regional provider doesn’t seem to understand that this new program doesn’t kick in till April 2019 which means everything remains the same as is until that day. So if you happen to be on top of the waitlist and get service you can do that for up to 3 months before the children’s budget plan kicks in. For us, we are still waiting anyways and likely not on top of anything so it is status quo. I do fully understand that finding out where we stand is not really relevant if we are not on top of the waitlist but I’ve been given this information previously so why can’t I find out today where we stand. Surrey Place refused to provide me with the information and directed me to the 1-888-284-8340 line. That line didn’t have any information on where I stand. After I explained my situation, she gave me a direct line to Mona Haibeh. Mona mans the general inquiries from the Ministry of Children, Community and Social Services and you can reach her at 416-327-6790. She was helpful and will be contacting Surrey Place regarding my waitlist confirmation. Funny how I have to jump hoops just to get information. I think I’ve learned that sometimes that’s what you have to do. If someone says no, you have to take charge and contact people above that person. You have to be strong and not take no for an answer. Your regional/service […]

Where to you go every 6 months?

Posted amyLeave a commentPosted in Struggles

Yup you guessed it right, the dentist. The last dentist visit was quite a shock for me as everyone in the room was sweating. J was sweating from fighting his way out, hubby was sweating trying to hold J down, I was sweating holding baby girl on one hand and fanning the other down with the other hand. There was not only sweat but also blood. This time around, I was nervous for days before even going in. I know right, I’m not the one holding him down or the one doing the cleaning but just standing by making sure he is somewhat okay. To my surprise, he did amazing. Maybe 6 months older made all the difference. Or maybe he remembers the drill and realize if he fights too hard it will hurt more? Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a walk in the park but my anticipation of full on fight wasn’t there so anything less was manageable. The hygienist said his teeth is very clean and I give full credit to the husband. All in all, cleaning and polishing took a whooping 15 minutes followed by a less than 5 minute check by dentist. All of that ended costing me 170 bucks. How on earth is 20 minutes of work 170 dollars? When you slap on children to dentist it is considered a speciality and anything with speciality get’s a hefty fee. I do get why they charge more considering my child wanted to bite the girl’s […]