HappyThe others

Autism sibling one on one time

Before Jay was born a friend told me about her routine with her girls and how she gives them each alone time. Her older one was having jealousy issues with her second child and giving her one to one mommy time helped. I loved the idea so much I implemented it when Jay was born. We do mostly small things like playing games, walking, going to park or malls etc.

When my third was born, I tried to spend more time with the oldest one but it wasn’t the one on one alone time I hoped for. About a month after my third child was born, Jay went through one of his toughest period where he was waking up 4 times a week crying bloody murder and staying up for hours. As hard as it was we made efforts to spend time with our oldest but often with baby girl next to us. I don’t think he will remember us trying so I implemented an official Mase day. It acts as both Mase day and baby girl day as one of us will be dedicating time to either one of of then. We officially started this two weeks ago and it has been going very well.

Mase day is at least an hour every week dedicated with just Mase. We do anything he wants with zero distractions. My intentions was to give him his hour every Saturday when Jay goes to therapy. That ways husband can take baby girl or I take baby girl and one of us spend time with Mase. Undivided, full attention with no distractions. Our first week had a small hiccup as I had to take baby girl with us so it wasn’t undivided but we are off to a good start. Last week Mase choose to spend it with my hubby so we branched off when we got to science centre. Aside from doing this for him, it is for me too. I am carving time out each week so I know I’m not fully neglecting this first born child of mine, well not neglecting as much. Also this will be good for my daughter too. I foresee issues when daughter grows older and want to choose the venue and it might not be the same venue as Mase, but for now Mase is the boss and gets to choose. I try very very hard giving the other two more love as I know how hard it is being an autism sibling. Even more for the oldest one as my daughter is just a baby. I’m always asking him to wait and do this or that. It is unfair and I’m fully aware of it.

This is such a brilliant idea and I hope both Mase and daughter will appreciate it.

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