Horrible night as he was extremely upset at something. The hardest part of autism is seeing him bawl his eyes out because it makes me so deeply sad. Something must be bothering him to a point he wants to hang his head to calm down. I read that is a coping mechanism as it takes their mind of whatever it is that is bothering them. Everyone has coping mechanisms, but watching your child hurt himself as a way to cope with something that is more painful than the self inflicting pain is simply too hard to bear. All the unknown, of why and what is going on in his head. I wish I can get a glimpse of what’s going on and offer some help. He is just a baby, my baby and I feel I’m failing to offer him the protection I want him to have. The struggle is too real and often too painful. I know, I know, you can’t bubble, shelter or even baby someone forever but he is just 2 years old.
This husband of mine is so strong, I only wish I can have 10% of his strength. He always has the right encouraging word to make things just a tad better. I need the reminder that our JB will be alright and he just had a bad night like everyone else. He’s asleep now and he will be fine tomorrow. What on earth will I do without this husband of mine?