I wish I can understand why you are so sad

His frustration is to the roof today. Every morning is a crying battle. If I was to guess, I think he’s tired and lazy to come down but at the same time hungry. Don’t mess with this boy’s food, he will eat you alive. Sometimes he cries and makes the little one cry and in turn makes him cry harder. All this chaos in the morning can’t be good for the older one. Somehow we all manage to get out the door not too terribly late. I’ve noticed the little one starting to imitate J with his meltdown. Really of all things to learn you have to learn this one?

This am was a real struggle and it sure didn’t help when the day started before the sun was out. He has these LEGO markers and his little hands just couldn’t hold them all. Every time one drops he gets so angry and frustrated. He would start stabbing himself with the markers and cry harder because it hurts. I can’t protect him from hurting himself all the time and when I don’t catch him it hurts me watching him cry. My beautiful child, only if mommy can help you become less frustrated. He can be laughing one moment then full on bawling the next. When I look deep into his eyes, his sadness really gets to you. How can a child this small have such sorrow and sadness?

No dinner tonight again. He’s on some food strike.

Literally the full day been crying galore. A friend texted me asking how my kids are and I answered truthfully saying today was a bad day. She then commented how I’m so positive, not sure why but that made me laugh. I don’t really see myself as positive when he’s super sad. What I do is, remind myself that tomorrow can be a better day. I predict bad night but secretly hope all that crying exhausted him. It sure exhausted me.

Tomorrow is a new day and I’m both nervous and excited to meet with his principal to discuss kindergarten. Hopefully his bad day ends today. I do think it will be fine. If I don’t agree with their suggestions, I can have my say. Come back for update on how the interview went.

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